Burger Boy

Burger Boy

Late November

After a long work day, the Bur-gal and I needed a quick bite of some comfort food to unwind.  We biked on over to bypass a a parade of cars lined up for Burger Boy on St. Mary's.

Service and Setting

With its iconic rotating sign and flashing lights, Burger Boy is the unofficial welcome to the St. Mary's strip (sorry Hi-Tones). It is a bit of a shack serving more of drive-up customers than walk-ins.  There are a few counter seats and some picnic tables outside.  Service has always been attentive.  They are not as fast as McDonald's, but I'd like to think you're getting some extra quality with those couple of minutes.

They have a second location on the west side.

Menu

The menu could fit on both sides of a business card. The burger is ordered by number of patty's. You can add Kraft American cheese, jalapeno's or bacon. Otherwise, they have corn and hot dogs, chicken and fish sandwiches, and a grilled cheese.  Only available side is crinkle-cut fries.

Beverage

No adult beverages. Standard soft drinks. The shake was too tempting to resist.  Nine flavor options for just $2.59.  We went with Oreo.  It really rounded out the experience.

Sides

Crinkle-cut fries may be my least favorite french-fry cut.  Clearly coming out of the freezer and into the fryer, I'm pretty sure they come from the same purveyor as one of my favorite SA burgers, Papa's Burgers.  They are just flavorless.  It feels more like a potato-based product than a french fry.  The crinkle theoretically adds surface area for crisping in the fryer, but I don't think they carry ketchup as well.  Clearly the waffle fry is superior in that regard.  We can debate the finer points of thin-cut, steak, and dutch at a later date.  At risk of alienating readers, I will take a stand on what I'll dub #RetireTheTot with burgers.  Tater tots are a breakfast food at best.

Patty

A thin griddle patty.  Pretty good grease flavor and juiciness.  Perhaps a little low on flavor compared to Chester's and Papa's.  Good but not great.  I think the way all the ingredients gel together on the pallet give it a nice savory experience in the gullet.  Is that gross or appetizing?

Dress and Bun

An extra-buttery bun that is well-proportioned with the rest of the ingredients.  I think the grease stain on the burger wrapper is as much from the bun as it is from the burger.  The rest of the produce is passable.  Kraft cheese also adds a dose of nostalgia.

The Verdict

Burger Boy consistently delivers a good burger experience.  If you are on the St. Mary's strip, it's a great option.  The burger is slightly better than average, but aside from a buttery bun, they don't do much to distinguish themselves.  I almost broke my whole-spur-only rating rule, but ultimately rounded down to a strong 3 Spurs.

Texas Hamburger Company

Texas Hamburger Company
Mid-October

Long-time blog supporter Mike Schwiwirian recommended this spot just north of the med center.
Desperate for a pick-me-up after long morning at work which skipped lunch, I headed to THC to get that burger high.

Service and Setting

I rolled in about 3 on a Saturday, and was surprised to find a pretty busy place.  Standard counter operation with your number called over the PA when the order is ready.  A couple TVs were playing college football games.  It was pretty loud due to the number of people and absence of any decorations that dampen sound. The tables were pretty clean, though condiments were kind of strewn about.

Menu

No surprises.  You can add cheese, chili, bacon, grilled onions, and avocado to the burger.  They do have a few dinner plates with deep fried favorites like chicken fried steak.  For place named THC, they were low on munchies food.

Beverage

They have a soda fountain. No alcohol.  They have shakes, but I didn't see too many on other tables.  The only buzz to catch here comes off the grill.

Sides

The fries looked better than they tasted.  They didn't quite hold their form which left the crisp lacking.  I guess that would make them "dank" in the negative connotation.  Dipping sauces were ketchup and some hot sauces only.

Patty

Patty was pretty thin.  I am surprised the menu does not advertise an add a patty option.  Decent grease factor.  Blends well with the toppings.

Dress and Bun

The bun is white bread that seems like a large version of the regular McDonald's bun. The grilled onions and American cheese together were ooey-gooey goodness.  I was scraping them off the wax paper and eating it with fries.  Real nice thick tomato slices.  Pickles were on par.

The Verdict

THC serves a mediocre griddle burger.  A little low on flavor, and an uninspired bun make this burger a reasonable option if you are in the area.  Despite the acronym, the only thing this place has in common with marijuana is that you won't feel like doing much after consuming it.  I give it a respectable 3 spurs.

Chester's

Chester's
Labor day weekend

My friend Phil was in town from New Mexico and had a hankering for one of our mutual favorite burger spots.  He and I used to eat there when we worked together, and Chester's is a depot of many good memories of fries with friends.

Service and Setting

Located on several major access roads to San Antonio highways, you're never too far from a Chester's.  You order at the counter and pick up a few minutes later.  The beer is on display in a several door cooler behind the counter.  Employees have always been friendly on my visits.

Menu

1/3 lb griddle burgers are offered in multiples with options of bacon, chili and green chilis.  Fresh cut fries and onion rings  accompany your meat.  They also have options for ice cream and shakes.
I got a green chili burger once; I hope it was just a miscommunication because they served the chilis in a plastic container on the side.  Fish basket and grilled cheese are the only veg options.

Beverage
The bottled beer selection rivals that of Specs.  They have everything from ciders to porters, coming from California to Brussels.  I'll say the only problem is that you have to view it from 10ft away through a cooler door.  No pricing scheme I can figure out before you order it, and pretty difficult to read subtle differences between varieties offered from a single brewery at that distance.  Also, no glasses or mugs, so everything is imbibed out of the bottle.

Sides

Fresh cut french fries done right.  Nice and crispy that keep their potato flavor instead of just oil.  I had a hot dog on the side.  They slice it the long way and dress with onions, relish and mustard.  I had to ask for additional mustard.  I didn't taste like 100% beef which offends my Chicago roots.  It was fine.

Patty

1/3 lb fresh beef cooked on the griddle.  It is probably the only burger place that can actually make a medium-rare griddle burger.  Excellent griddle flavor with a good amount of juice.  Make it a double if you're hungry.

Dress and Bun
Their poppy seed bun is iconic.  Always fresh, always delicious.  Good produce and good pickle slices.

Geoff's take: "Hard to say it's on the same level as Big'z."

The Verdict
In reality, I should probably abstain from giving a rating given the sentimental over-valuation Chester's has for me.  Despite this, I'll put journalistic integrity aside for a reliable and friendly spot that I will alway associate with San Antonio.  5 spurs it is.

Longhorn Cafe

Longhorn Cafe
Mid August

Long-time supporter of the blog, Clay, has been asking about when I'm going to eat at Longhorn since it's inception.  While I don't trust his taste in music, I thought I should give his palate the benefit of the doubt.  A good cast of characters came out for burgers including Geoff, Audrey, Graham, Matt, Rachel, Dani and Clay.

Service and Setting

It looks like they have about 8 locations across South Texas, making it the largest chain we have visited.  It is a counter operation with the kitchen and grill on full display.  They have a lot of picnic tables inside and on the patio.  Easily the most dangerous playground we have seen.  It's a 4 foot tall wooden ramp that ends with a 3.5 foot wide by 7 foot long piece sheet metal that they propose is a slide.  It looks like it could double as the griddle, but I would venture to guess in the summer sun it would be too hot for burgers, nonetheless children's' thighs.  You pick up your food after being called over a PA that would make Dane Cook (when he was funny) proud.

Menu

We went for The Original Big Juicy, but they have just about every burger option for which one could pine: mushroom & Swiss, bacon, guac, bean, chili and jalapeno.  They have a good selection of vegetarian burgers options, though still no vegetarian reviewers volunteered for this trip.  The rest of the menu has a selection of other hot sandwiches, chicken and dinner plates.  Very affordable prices.

Beverage

They have a a wide array of domestic bottles including every Bud Light lime/orange/band-aid flavor you never wanted.  A few beers on tap as well.  Coke products in the soda fountain.  I think I missed the milkshake on the menu, but I didn't see anyone drinking one.

Sides

A full line-up of your fried favorites from fries and rings to pickles and poppers to tots and Texas toothpicks.  I could have gone for a few extra sauce options beyond ketchup and ranch, but they were all satisfactory.

Patty

You can go original, double patty or 1/2lb-er.  They boast fresh, never frozen beef.  The 1/3lb patty comes out very thin to cover the area of the bun.  Difficult to discern the taste among the other ingredients.  Had good enough juice to run onto the wax paper if for some unthinkable reason you smashed it down like Graham did.

Dress and Bun

I could have eaten the bun by itself as an appetizer.  Think garlic bread without the garlic or a mom's grilled cheese without the Kraft single.  Wonderful toast on it with a good butter coating.  In respect to veg, they were a little heavy handed with the lettuce, but otherwise had the right crispness and surface area to capture all of the co-mingling flavors.  We have had better pickles, but I did like the quantity.  The guacamole portion was stingy, but those eating jalapeno and mushroom & Swiss toppings had good servings. They have gluten free and wheat bun options to which I am more strongly opposed than Clay's terrible music.

Geoff's take: "Next time I’m looking for a burger on 1604, I’ll pass Longhorn and go to Bigz."

Matt's take: "I came to watch children play on the sticky slide but was disappointed."

Matt's take 2: "I had the ‘Big Juice’ classic  with all the toppings, great toasted bun not too soggy despite quantity of toppings, filled me up despite being 1/3 lb."

The Verdict

Longhorn served a quality griddle burger with some great flavors.  I think the 1/3lb patty gets pounded out a little thin to cover that large bun, and I think things would have blended together a little nicer with a slightly smaller bun and thicker patty.  The pickles and special toppings were good but not great.  Overall, the group was very happy with their burgers, and I think just a few tweaks could make take it into rare air.  For now, we give it a very respectable 4 spurs.

Max and Louie's

Max and Louie's

Mid July

Geoff and I left dinner #1 un-satiated.  A disappointing showing at EZ's left us with little room for recourse.  I turned to Geoff and asked, "Bang, bang?"  Made famous to me by Louis CK's FX show Louie, the bang, bang is when you eat a meal, turnaround and eat another meal.  With approval from our company including my wife, and coworkers - Jonathan and Vaidehi - we walked to the closest restaurant also serving a burger.

Service and Setting
A very nice environment taking some of the nicer features of a New York style diner, but cleaner.  A big counter to eat at for singles and small groups, plenty of booths and other open tables.  Large photos of popular New York streets adorn the walls. A glass display with meats and desserts pique the appetite.  Our waitress had a little sass which was endearing despite mediocre execution.  The parade of food coming from the kitchen will have you changing your mind from frequently as each item looked more delicious than the next.  I was legitimately tempted away from burgers to consider pancakes, brisket poutine, and a cookie monster sundae before refocusing on my task.

Menu

Classic diner menu that has you covered anytime of day, with any kind of hankering, aside from maybe something light.  The prices are high, but the portions are large, and truly everything looked great.  Most people could make two meals out of most entrees.  We went with the "B.F.S!"  Which was a $20 burger, fries and shake.  That costs more than the items a al carte, but I was reassured that a presentation element made it worth the extra dollar.  We added cheese for $1.  We declined an egg which would have been another $1.50.  I'm not sure the accompanying photo does justice to the magnitude of the half pound burger, cone of fries, and around liter of milkshake.

Beverage

Lots of shake and float options including the Cookie Monster shake which needs to be seen to be believed.  They have Dr. Brown's sodas which is a necessity for a diner experience.  Plenty of beer and liquor options, though for me personally, it seems strange to have a beer in a diner.  Maybe I'm missing out.

Patty

We were asked how we wanted out 1/2 lb burger cooked.  We went with medium-rare.  It was cooked appropriately.  Very good juiciness.  Unfortunately, the flavor lagged behind the appearance and the juice.  It improved with kethcup and mustard, but for the second consecutive burger, the strongest flavor was burnt grease.

Dress and Bun

A very good bun, appropriately sized for the assembly.  The produce was good enough to make the vegetarian at our table coo and tasted as good.  Crisp lettuce, and a couple nice slices of tomato.  Their pickles lean more toward cucumber than pickle and are a little strange.  I was very pleased with the construction of this burger.

Sides

Fries were seasoned well. Could have had a softer inside.  The lone half of pickle was a little stingy. I suppose as ordered the shake was a side as well.  It had good flavor, but tasted more like milk than shake.  I think a good milkshake should have you reaching for a spoon for fear of bursting a capillary trying to draw it through a straw.

Geoff's take 2: Exciting presentation, bland burger

The Verdict
There are plenty of reasons to visit Max and Louie's, and every item a server carries to a different table will have you considering a different page in the menu.  The burger did a lot of things right, with excellent toppings and a big juicy burger, unfortunately, the overall flavor fell a little short.  I'd say it's worth heading to Max and Louie's reasons aside from the burger, but if you are really hankering for a beef, it is reasonable to order the burger while you're there.  It earns a respectable 3 spurs.

EZ's Brick Oven and Grill

EZ's Brick Oven and Grill

Bitters location
Mid July

For a Sunday night dinner we were looking for something quick with a broad menu.  One of my co-workers, Vaidehi, announced her intention to come along to one of these outings to give a veggie burger rating - we even made a 1-5 broccoli florets scale for her.  Unfortunately, the quality of the ingredients in EZ's veggie patty fell below her standards, so we will have to wait for another edition for a veggie burger review.

Service and Setting

Standard counter operation. Looks a little bit like The Max from saved by the Bell with neon details throughout.  There are lots of paintings of fish that look like the Ballast Point brewery labels that are pretty serene.  Plenty of crayons and coloring sheets for the little ones.  Service was fine.

Menu

A diverse menu with burgers, pizza, salads, and pasta.  They had several burger meat options including beef, bison, turkey, and veggie.  They will swap any patty into of their burger constructions.  Unfortunately, they were out of bison.  Also, for a half pound burger they didn't ask how we wanted it cooked.

Beverage

A bit of a weak beer selection in bottles and cans.  Pepsi products in the soda fountain.

Patty
We went with the poblano burger and the bean burger with beef as they were out of bison.  Again, we weren't asked how we wanted the burger cooked; they both came out medium-well.  As you can see in the photo, the bun and the wax paper are totally dry.  The burger didn't really drip at all, indicating a sub-standard level of juiciness.  It managed to not be dry at least.  Flavor was rather bland.  It had that burnt grease flavor of the griddle.

Dress and Bun

The menu default for both of the burgers was a gluten-free wheat bun.  It was awful.  You have heard me rant about wheat buns in the past, and why they have no place in burgerland, but I guess I'll just have to do it again.  A wheat bun does not turn something that is inherently unhealthy into something that is good for you.  Hamburgers are meant to be eaten on occasion, and when you do decide to have a "naughty" meal, don't mess it up by putting it on a wheat bun.  My wife had the classic burger, and said the white bun wasn't much better.  Otherwise, toppings were fine. Geoff doesn't like Fritos on burgers.  I thought the beans were fine, but keeping in the theme of things, were low on flavor.  The poblano peppers were just ok as well.

Sides

We got the sampler basket. Excellent sauce options ranging from Thai chili oil to Lea and Perrins Worcestershire.  I thought the sweet potato fries were a little too thin.  The onion rings and curly fries were good.

Geoff's take: It has the flavor of backyard cookout with a bunch of grilled frozen patties and the cheapest buns in the grocery store.

The Verdict

It is a fun restaurant with nice things to look at and a large menu.  But being a burger blog, Geoff and I couldn't get over the dry and flavorless patty, mediocre toppings and an awful bun.  Unfortunately, we have to give both burgers we tried 2 spurs.  In fact, we were so poorly satiated, we needed something else to salvage the night.  We left and walked immediately over to Max and Louie's and split a third hamburger.